On Taking Critiques
There’s a lot of advice on how to critique someone else’s work, but I haven’t seen much on how to accept the critiques you’re given. Here are a few tips for how to deal with your work being critiqued:
Don’t get defensive. It’s really tempting to think that the choices you made are right and the advice you’re being given is wrong, but remember that you asked for their critiques and that they’re given you a perspective that you, as the writer, just can’t see.
Remember that harsh critiques don’t mean you’re a bad writer. Everyone has scenes that don’t work, plotholes, grammatical mistakes, and stilted dialogue, particularly in their first draft. This is why you get critiques: to take the things that don’t work and make them better. You will always get more feedback than good, and sometimes the person critiquing you (particularly if they’re inexperienced or not a professional) might just be too harsh.
If you can, read the critiques alone. No matter how experienced you are, getting critiques can suck, and that’s often easier to deal with without an audience, particularly so you can swear, argue with a piece of paper, and cry in peace.
Read the critiques at least twice before you implement any changes. It can be hard the first time you read a critique to think critically about it, and so I recommend reading through all the critiques once, letting all of your immediate visceral reactions process, and then move on to read them a second time and consider any actual changes you want to make.
Talk to the person who gave the critiques. Particularly if there are critiques you are unsure about or disagree with, talk to the person. They might be able to give you useful thoughts or explain why they think that way.
Don’t make changes you disagree with. Obviously there are some standards–grammar, spelling, etc.–but otherwise, it’s your story. If you fundamentally disagree with a suggested change, just don’t make it. But think about why it’s a change they want you to make and why it’s a change you don’t want to make. Is it because it would make a fundamental plot change or because you’re just particularly attached to a scene or character? if it’s the latter, consider more strongly whether it makes sense for you to keep it as it is.
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