some of the most extra things Miles Naismith Vorkosigan has ever done
- explain Vorloupulous’ law in detail and then break it like ONE SECOND LATER, because what’s the point of a vacation if it doesn’t involve some casual treason among friends
- think unironically that maybe he can get over his thing for tall women by sleeping with an 8 foot tall supersoldier (spoiler: doesn’t work)
- “Would you believe, I’m here by accident? Oser wouldn’t.” I WONDER WHY MILES! Maybe it’s because you just happened to turn up in the middle of an interplanetary arms race to steal his mercenary fleet for the SECOND TIME?
- “Who are you?” “I don’t even want to talk about it.”
- lost AN ENTIRE EMPEROR once
- is a trained Imp Sec operative, but primary method of staying undercover is hoping no one looks him up on Wikipedia
- memorized all of Richard III
- only comes up with the cover story that he’s Miles Vorkosigan’s clone right before his actual clone tries to murder him
- the dramatic farewell kiss with Bel in front of a room full of people
- possibly the worst dinner party ever thrown in the history of the WORLD, so bad calling it a trainwreck is an insult to trainwrecks
- after she proposes, immediately started doodling Ekaterin’s name
in his notes like a lovestruck teenager while the Council of Counts was still in session
- casual friendship with an enemy Cetagandan general who he can call in a pinch
- when someone asked if he was Tien’s murderer and he got so fed up that he was like bitch I might be
- beat truth serum by tALKING TOO MUCH
- manages to win over tough, intelligent, competent woman while completely naked and vulnerable and in her power
- more than once
- is so much of a chihuahua who thinks he’s a saint bernard that he falls into a pond trying to pull ekaterin to safety (shouting NEVER AGAIN) because he forgets she outmasses him like whoa and he refuses to let go
- would have done the same thing with beatrice if he’d caught her in time, this time not into a pond but into the DEPTHS OF SPACE without a pressure suit
and one not so much extra as really petty thing he did:
- his fellow vor cadets wouldn’t let teenage miles march with them in a parade because he was too short. they forgot that you have to break up your cadence marching over bridges. rather than remind them, he stands back and watches them collapse the bridge and fall in the river
- as a 5 year old only child, somehow “outnumbered” his parents
- broke both his legs, then slid down the banister in Vorkosigan House anyway
- went from thinking he was going to be eaten by a werewolf to falling in love with same werewolf in .1 seconds
- managed to get lost WHILE DEAD
- compared his future wife to a horse, unaware that she was also comparing him to a horse
- thought he might be panicking prematurely when he was nearly assassinated
- what i did on my summer holiday by Miles Vorkosigan aged about eight: stole historic tank and took it for a joyride with the emperor, demolished barn and caused landslide
- what i did on my summer holiday by Miles Vorkosigan aged 22: accidentally saved wrong empire, quickly fudged it so also saved correct empire
- what i did on my honeymoon by Miles Vorkosigan aged 30: saved both empires from going to war against each other while investigating a shipping problem. also while in a coma
arcticflakes
