excuse me ma’am i couldn’t help but notice your ‘NO SOLICITING’ sign. now what if i told you that for only $14.99 this bottle of no soliciting sign polish could be yours?

brb gotta to go splash water on my face in the mens bathroom and look haggardly at myself in the mirror
can you do that somehwhere else i'm changing my baby right here and he is freaking the fuck out
*holds your baby up to the mirror and he rapidly becomes more haggard as my face reverts steadily to an expression of youthful cheer*