I had class at the gardens today and while I was eating lunch by the pond, watching the family of ducks that comes into the picnic area to beg for food. Today, the mother mallard had her offspring in tow. The sight was very adorable and resulted in much salad and fries being thrown thier way. I was only sort of paying attention to thier movments when the following conversation took place at the next table over:
Toddler, just learning how to talk: *excited gasp* A FUCK!
Mother: JENNA NO!
Jenna, bouncing up and down with glee: BABYS! BABY FUCKS! BABY FUCKS!
Mother, hissing whisper of desperation: J e n n a p l e a s e !
Jenna, ecstatic:FEEDA FUCKS! FEEDA FUCKS!
Jenna, turning to me and gesturing: BABY FUCKS!!
Me: Yeah! Did you know a baby Duck is called a Duckling?
Jenna: !!!!!
Jenna: MOMMY! FUCKLEYS!
Mother: I’m so sorry.
Me: Are you kidding? This is the highlight of my week.
Jenna, chanting as shes loadedint the stroller and wheeled away: BA-BY FUCK-LEY! BA-BY FUCK-LEY! BA-BY FUCK-LEY!
The ducks continued their search for fries, uncaring.
Liz is already three, but she still has problems with pronouncing “f” (so the opposite of Jenna’s pronunciation quirk). She usually replaces it with “ch” (“kh” for you Westerners). That turns into a problem when she wants to show her disgust by saying “fuj” (Polish equivalent of “eww”) and ends up calling the disgusting thing a dick. We try not to make a big deal of it, lest she catches on and starts doing it on purpose, but it’s really hard to ignore.
Oh don’t worry, Glassbab has their own unique approach to speech, in which many things fall under the umbrella of a good clear shout of “COCK.” Roosters (UK: cockerels) and clocks are the obvious ones, though the association with “glue” and “forks” is more confusing. It is also an exclamation of disgust and protest, and something to yell loudly in museums. Fine! Fine! Whatever! Whomst among us hasn’t?? Is my question for those who are shocked.
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