symphonyofmars

The “romantic-sexual/platonic” love dichotomy leaves no room for the real emotional nuances people experience in their attachments, and I think that it often causes us to live with simplified relationships not because we want to or because we have simple desires and feelings but because we have no experience, cultural context, or language to accommodate a complex social life or set of relationships. This is why language is so important. This is why words and labels matter. How can you have the kind of relationships you want with anyone, if you don’t even have the words to accurately express how you feel? Hell, half the time, people don’t even understand their own feelings and relationship desires because what they feel is not simple at all, but the only relationship framework they know makes everything seem simple and clear cut: romance and sex go together, friendship is separate from both of those things, couplehood/primary partnership is exclusive to romance and sex, etc.
But if we are to accept the possibilities and realities of asexual romance, primary nonsexual/nonromantic love, nonromantic sex and sexual friendship, romantic (nonsexual) friendship, queerplatonic nonsexual relationships and sexual relationships, etc…. we have to drop this way of thinking and speaking about relationships and love in a romantic-sexual/platonic dichotomous way. None of those “complex” relationships fit into that model

“Platonic love” is a problematic term. | The Thinking Asexual (via bettyrizz)

This is excellent. It is not an “either or relationship” “friendship OR romance” it can be both. Or neither. You can have a sexual relationship with someone that you are not romantically attached but who you ARE good friends with (i.e not just sex) and you can fall deeply in romantic love with someone who you never make a sexual move towards.

Remember above all that the key to any kind of human relationship is COMMUNICATION as soon as possible you have to lay your cards on the table and BLUNTLY tell each other how you see the relationship. Most people do not know how to do this, or are terrified of the prospect and thus never do it. What happens then is that both parties then build INCORRECT models of the relationship in their head, models that we become very emotionally attached to, that we might even wrap with our self identity. Then when we discover that the other person has a different view of the relationship we end up feeling hurt and betrayed, leading to profound pain.

(via onlyanorthernsong3110)

^ My brother drops a lot of troof up in here.

(via itscandidlycara)

Source: thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com

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Cardassian egg painting

I know it doesn't make a lot of sense for Cardassians to lay eggs but humor me for a second here because imagine the culture that could evolve around it.

You know how reptile eggs shouldn't be rotated during incubation otherwise the baby will die, so breeders will often mark the top of an egg so they know the proper orientation? What if Cardassians do this too. And what if it's evolved from simple markings to, like, auspicious sigils. Like, you can wish your baby health/prosperity/filial piety/etc. by painting or stamping the corresponding symbol on top of their egg. Of course it's superstition that this actually affects the baby's fate, but even non-superstitious people do it anyway, just because it's tradition.

The substance that the symbol is painted with also supposedly affects the baby. This is a bit more scientifically sound, since chemicals can penetrate the shell and influence the fetus's development. Traditionally you'd use different kinds of herbal dye, but in modern times people are getting more scientific about it and using dyes imbued with chemicals that are proven to be beneficial to fetal development.

There are established symbols that signify different well-wishes, but of course people get creative with it. You can incorporate multiple symbols in your design, or hire a fortune teller to come up with a personalized design for your baby, or just add your own little flourishes. The designs can get quite elaborate. In modern times, parents who don't believe in the superstition of it have started painting other things on their eggs. A pretty design incorporating the baby's name, writing a letter to their baby, drawings with sentimental but not spiritual importance.

If the baby hatches in a way that doesn't damage the design, parents will often preserve the portion of the shell that has the design on it as a keepsake. If the baby does damage the design when they hatch, it's considered a bad omen, and a sign that the baby's fate will be the opposite of whatever the design symbolized.

When you walk into a Cardassian hospital's incubator room, you'll see eggs with all sorts of different designs—and some unmarked eggs, too. Those are probably orphans or bastards, babies without parents who care enough to wish them well. Sometimes hospitals will stamp those eggs with a generic, simple design wishing health. Usually not, though.

very enjoyable!