a man steals a painting from a museum and puts it in the back of his van
he drives for three miles before he inevitably slows down and gets out, credit card and empty gas container in hand
the police come up and ask him “what are you doing? this is an arrest!”
he looks at them and says
“I need more Monet to buy Degas to make this Van Gogh!”
this is the final straw im leaving tumblr
See you tomorrow
this is how the movie went right
Kronk: By whom, though? I might be your classic "hunk" body type, but I'm not exactly a top. I have a couple exes I could call that might be his type. Do you want someone who would take him out for dinner first, or just...
Yzma: ... I WANT you to KILL him!
the real dichotomy is guys who spend 4 hours in the bathroom in the morning doing their hair vs guys who just wake up like that
Man sees crab for the first time.
does he…
Sea?!
Some fucking
pulls up
okay guys hashtag not sponsored but tonight we went to a market and there was a man. this man's name was SEAN and he sold CERAMICS that happened to be in the trans pride colours and it was definitely an accident but he said "oh cool :)" when i mentioned it and wasn't weird so ally points for that one.
he also told another customer while we were there that he knew his wife was gonna be mad with him because she packed a bunch of paper bags for him to give to customers and he left them in the car which, relatable to us all.
anyway @teacupsandcyanide and i were channeling nadja and lazlo tonight (picture: a short dude in a frilly white shirt and deep blue frock coat, walking arm in arm through the night market with a being of many genders in all black with a witch's hat and a black lace veil over their face.) he told us we were the best dressed people in the market and that he gonna give us a deal because of it. he also told us he was excited because this was his first (!!) market selling his wares.
he was selling teacups for $aud35 a pop and when i went to buy two he gave them to us for $aud50 for the PAIR?? and i was like aw omg thank you :) and i said i wished i could buy more but i just couldn't afford it (not joking: would buy all of my crockery from him if i could.) and then he got a shifty look in his eyes and picked up a tiny milk jug i'd been looking at earlier and told me to TAKE IT??? FOR FREE??? and i was like NO OMG YOU NEED TO MAKE MONEY??? and he insisted and i took it because IT'S SO CUTE. but i'm genuinely concerned that this man may actually be losing money because he's too nice to people, hence this post:
look at his ceramics. feast your eyes.
and follow him on instagram and tiktok. and then i will finally feel i have repaid him.
You forgot that as we were leaving he was like “neither of you happen to be called Georgia, right?” And when we were like “no ??? But tell me more I must know” he showed us one little mug he’d set aside. He’d stamped the name Georgia on the underside and he was like “I’m gonna give it to the first person I meet called Georgia” with such whimsy in his eyes. 10/10 stall holder, top lad Sean
extraneousdominomask
After a year @bisexualwolfodonnell and I are at last back to Ace Attorney and she had the amazingly 100% intended blind-playthrough reaction to this moment
specifically in the form of yelling “WHAT?! WHAT?! WE GOT RID OF HIM!! WE JUST HAD A WHOLE PLOT ABOUT GETTING RID OF HIM!! HOW THE FUCK IS HE BACK???!?!?!!?”
Revisiting games with her has been great overall but something about this series in particular just elevates the experience even further
