[class-snuggle]

you can tell the most absurd lies to a cat pretty much whenever you want and there are literally no consequences

[tinsnip]

Okay, I don’t, why–

***

“And are we comfortable now?”

Mrow, said the cat.

“And are we going to try to claw my pants again?”

Mrow.

“Do you know, I think we’re developing quite the rapport.”

Rrow.

“Julian will be pleased, won’t he.”

Brrt, and the cat rubbed its chin against his hand.

“Do you know, I am the king of Cardassia?”

Mrrt.

“Mmm. And do you know, in secret, I meet with the heads of both the Federation and the Romulan Empire?”

Mrrrrt.

“No, it’s true. Last week, in fact. In my shop.”

A disapproving glare. He started rubbing again, and the cat’s eyes closed.

“Too much? I think it’s plausible, don’t you?”

Rrrrrr.

“Also, I once led a mission to the heart of the Klingon Empire.”

Mrrt.

“No, it’s true! Myself and three stalwart friends, and we battled Klingons left and right–and at the end, they called us glorious.”

Rrrrr.

“You’re right. That is a good one. Remind me to drop it in Julian’s ear.”

Brrrrow.

“More to the left? Of course. Anything for such a good listener.”