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Small Comfort (4183 words) by bmouse [AO3]

[bmouse]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Gregor Vorbarra/Miles Vorkosigan
Characters: Miles Vorkosigan, Gregor Vorbarra
Additional Tags: Mention of past dub-con, FIx It, First Time, Canon Disabled Character
Summary:

They say first times aren’t the greatest, but this is ridiculous! Which is worse? A girl that fetishizes your disability or an amoral woman who’s pretending to love you because she wants to take over your Empire? Another night in an ImpSec basement, another bottle of wine. As usual, Miles ignores the unspoken rules of the universe and demands a ‘do over.’ For the both of them.

Session 26: January 22, 2014

• MB: SEASON 2 WOOOOO
• MB: I will give Rick Berman five dollars if this entire episode is about Quark becoming increasingly desperate to find a bathroom as Odo keeps cornering him to grill him about station intrigue.
• MB: Nice background acting, Rom.
• MB: "We've been at each other's throats long enough. Let's trade up for mouths." :Quark and Odo make out for half an hour:
• MB: The rest of the episode is O'Brien eating candy.
• MB: Remind me to spend 24 hours some day responding to every question with, "Tingling, at the sight of you."
• MB: New life goal: Barge into the homes of no fewer than five people who dislike me and ask them, "Aren't you going to offer me a beverage?"
• MB: Oh my god did Jake get a new outfit? DID JAKE GET A NEW OUTFIT?
• MB: "You want to talk, take her upstairs. And that way, you can get in a nice, sensible three or five minutes of idle chat before Odo runs you off for dangling."
• MB: Remember, urgent requests from your 2IC never take precedence over strangling your son's budding sexuality.
• MB: "Who's worried?" You should be, Sisko, because if there's one thing I've learned from this franchise, it's that there are no space contraceptives.
• MB: I went to war with Cardassia over an earring once. It was a nice Tuesday.
• MB: "Bajor for the Bajorans"? Really? Like there's some line of alien refugees clamoring to get into this war-ravished, impoverished world that only freed itself a year ago?
• MB: "If they think scrawling a few signs is going to get rid of us, they've got another thing coming," said the Irishman, without a trace of irony.
• MB: "As of now, Constable, there are no low-security areas on this station," said Sisko, blithely breezing by the fact that there's no way he has the manpower to make that a reality.
• MB: If you didn't know running DS9 was going to be "this tough," Dax, you are even stupider than those BumpIts would lead a casual observer to believe.
• MB: Have we ever in the history of this franchise established exactly what makes someone a "good pilot"? As far as I can see, it's 100% Informed Ability. We're told Character XYZ is the best pilot, but they never do anything that doesn't involve just plotting the same courses and executing the same preprogrammed maneuvers as everyone else.
• MB: Props for ignoring O'Brien through that entire conversation, Major.
• MB: Somebody should write a series of stories involving all the characters who get forgotten for half a season at a time. This episode could be Garak talking Lt. Pinchyface into helping him stage a production of Far Away by Caryl Churchill.
• MB: I could make so much money off military contracts in the Star Trek universe by adding a feature to the Universal Translator that tells you what language the person is actually speaking.
• MB: Cardassia. Cardassia, honey. When you're illegally detaining important prisoners past the cessation of hostilities, do you maybe think it might be a TERRIBLE IDEA to keep them in an unshielded labor camp out in the open?
• MB: Also, probably want to train your guards NOT to let random Bajorans through the barriers, even when they're super-sexy.
• MB: How much would it suck to be the one person left behind because you picked the wrong five minutes for a bathroom break.
• MB: "Man, that was a doozy. Oh well, back to the hellish grind that is our daily— ... Guys? Guys?"
• MB: "We had no idea Bajoran prisoners were still being held on Cardassia 4, even though it's in our home system and a two-second scan of the planet would have immediately revealed their presence."
• MB: Good job bring a neutral third party enforcing that treaty, UFP.
• MB: Yeah, let's plunge all the POWs immediately into large groups of people in public areas. Especially in places where they used to be enslaved.
• MB: "I don't think they're going to leave until you say a few words." "I agree." "If that's what it takes. ... FUCK ALL Y'ALL. GO THE FUCK HOME. STOP HARASSING ME. AND HEY SISKO AND ODO HOW ABOUT DOING SOME WORK AND DEFENDING MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY WHILE I WORK OUT THIS DEEP MENTAL TRAUMA."
• MB: Maybe later they can guilt Kira into having sex with Quark. Because, hey, HE wants it.
• MB: "I'll just enjoy a moment's privacy. ... HINT. HINT." Sisko spends the next 90 minutes talking to him about baseball.
• MB: "What's it like, a free Bajor?" "Racist." "I see." "No, dude, like suuuuuuuuuuper racist."
• MB: "What is it now?" "Stranglegram!"
• MB: Thank god Sisko already raised the security level of the entire station, preventing this sort of escalatio— oh.
• MB: "NOT NOW, QUARK. It's not like they attacked and mutilated a PERSON."
• MB: Remember: Son gets stood up = Heartfelt speech and sympathy. Ferengi gets brutally violated = Brusque dismissal.
• MB: So how pissed are all the Bajoran leaders over the years who had their successes attributed to this mythological figure
• MB: "Legends are as powerful as any truth," said the man who refused to teach the religious beliefs of the people whose planet he's helping protect.
• WG: when i come over tonight, if someone's all "who's there?" i might answer "stranglegram"
• WG: but don't automatically open the door, because it could be a real stranglegram, and then i'd feel bad.