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DUDE

[frontier001]

The single greatest cliffhanger of all time.

Try to imagine it.  It’s the spring of 1990, and “Star Trek: The Next Generation" has been on the air for three seasons - and is about to break the Original Series’ record by having a fourth season.

Denise Crosby (Lt. Tasha Yar) left the show before the first season was over.  Gates McFadden was summarily fired and replaced for season two, only to return in season three at the insistence of Patrick Stewart.  So change had always been a possibility.

There was no internet.  Which meant no spoilers like we now know them.  No set reports.  No speculation amongst the fans outside of conventions or groups of friends.  Which meant no way to cope with the anxiety, no bulletin boards to post “AHHH!  WTF?” on while you waited.

We may know now how it all turned out, but back then?  I’ve got friends who where trekkies in the day, and the summer of 1990 was full of anxiety!

Apparently, this is what I do when I can’t fall back to sleep at 3 in the morning.

[sheereleganceinitssimplicity]

Initially inspired by verychennoy’s post, and further encouraged by ladyyatexel’s drawings (as seen above). Text modified from Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss, as posted here.

~

I am Gul.

I am Gul;
Gul Damar

That Gul Damar,
That Gul Damar!
I do not like
That Gul Damar.

Do you like
To drink Kanar?

I do not like to,
Gul Damar.
I do not like
To drink Kanar.

Would you like it
Here or there?

I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
To drink Kanar.
I do not like to,
Gul Damar.

Would you like it
in a house?
Would you like it
with a mouse?
I do not like it
here or there.
I do not like it
anywhere.

I do not like to drink Kanar.
I do not like to, Gul Damar.

Would you drink it
in a box?
Would you drink it
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not drink it here or there.
I would not drink it anywhere.
I would not drink Damar’s Kanar.
I do not like it, Gul Damar.

Would you? Could you?
in a car?
Drink it! Drink it!
From the bar.

I would not,
could not,
in a car.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
In a tree!

I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox.
I do not like it in a house.
I do not like it with a mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like Damar’s Kanar.
I do not like it, Gul Damar.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?

Not in a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not drink it with a mouse.
I will not drink it in a house.
I will not drink it here or there.
I will not drink it anywhere.
I do not like Damar’s Kanar.
I do not like it, Gul Damar.

Say! In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you,
in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you,
in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
I do not like it, Gul, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not drink it here or there.
I will not drink it anywhere!

You do not like
To drink Kanar?

I do not
like to,
Gul Damar.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not,
could not.
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not drink it in the rain.
I will not drink it in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox.
I will not eat it in a house.
I do not like it with a mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE!

I do not like
To drink
Kanar!

I do not like to,
Gul Damar.

You do not like it.
SO you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may I say.

Gul!
If you will let me be,
I will try it.
You will see.

Say!
I like to drink Kanar!
I do! I like it, Gul Damar!
And I would drink it in a boat!
And I would drink it with a goat…
And I will drink it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
It is so good so good you see!

So I will drink it in a box.
And I will drink it with a fox.
And I will drink it in a house.
And I will drink it with a mouse.
And I will drink it here and there.
Say! I will drink it ANYWHERE!

I do so like
To drink Kanar!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Gul Damar.

[spockemon]

-Are you a girl?