(Posts tagged funny)

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
rem-ir
nachashim

crowley is the type of bitch to be like. aziraphale you should take my name. no it’s not about ownership it’s not about superiority or whatever we both know who’s in charge here but you really should take my name. because i have one. fell does not count that is not your name. you do not have a surname. so really i’d be doing you a favor. charitably sharing my surname with you. because i love you that’s why. 

nachashim

and aziraphale’s like. i know i don’t have a surname i like it that way. i can’t take your name because then my name would be aziraphale crowley. that’s just ridiculous on its face. your surname is pretty much your name so i’d be better off taking your forename as my surname. no i will not do that either.

nachashim

crowley: my full legal name is anthony j[REDACTED] crowley-crowley. i took my own surname when we got married because my husband didn’t have one. my husband? his full legal name is aziraphale ziraphale aziraphale-fell-crowley. he kept his fake surname and added my real surname but then he also added his name as a third surname before the other two so that he would still be toward the beginning of the alphabet.

hereditary enemies good omens funny
red-faced-wolf

The best notes written in manuscripts by medieval monks

beggars-opera

Colophon: a statement at the end of a book containing the scribe or owner’s name, date of completion, or bitching about how hard it is to write a book in the dark ages

  • Oh, my hand
  • The parchment is very hairy
  • Thank God it will soon be dark
  • St. Patrick of Armagh, deliver me from writing
  • Now I’ve written the whole thing; for Christ’s sake give me a drink
  • Oh d fuckin abbot
  • Massive hangover
  • Whoever translated these Gospels did a very poor job
  • Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night
  • If someone else would like such a handsome book, come and look me up in Paris, across from the Notre Dame cathedral
  • I shall remember, O Christ, that I am writing of Thee, because I am wrecked today
  • Do not reproach me concerning the letters, the ink is bad and the parchment scanty and the day is dark
  • 11 golden letters, 8 shilling each; 700 letters with double shafts, 7 shilling for each hundred; and 35 quires of text, each 16 leaves, at 3 shilling each. For such an amount I won’t write again
  • Here ends the second part of the title work of Brother Thomas Aquinas of the Dominican Order; very long, very verbose; and very tedious for the scribe; thank God, thank God, and again thank God
  • If anyone take away this book, let him die the death, let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever seize him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen
branewurms

what does oh d fuckin abbot even MEAN

a-spoon-is-born

an abbot is the head of a monastery so it just means “fuck my boss” basically, an abbreviation of “O damned fuckin Abbot”. this is what it looks like:

image

Brasenose College MS 7, f.62v 

red-faced-wolf

So my dads a civil engineer and does consultant work for the state and he said he was drawing up some plans and marking them down. He got sick of writing on the plans and wrote “fuck this set of plans” in black ink on the black border. Well when they printed the plans to go in the book, the black shown through like an x-ray and was part of the job plans.

wonderful world funny