ESC SF1 songs if given Friends episode-style titles

• (These are very much tongue-in-cheek, so please don't be offended! I like a fair few of these songs, but said something sarcastic about them anyhow.)
• Albania: The one where they almost don't ruin a song in a revamp. Almost.
• Armenia: The one where a Caucasian sensation goes East Asian.
• Australia: The one with the awkward guests who sent a kid making puppy dog eyes in case you wanted to banish them.
• Azerbaijan: The one where they finally send something edgy.
• Belgium: The one with a school-aged student and a song that's too cool for school.
• Cyprus: The one where they think the massive force that stops you from flying free and that can even kill you in space is a perfect metaphor for love.
• Finland: The one where they associate bittersweet memories of love to the wretched cawing of nature's least musical bird.
• Georgia: The one that sees Russia and Ukraine politicising the contest and thinks "three can play at that game."
• Greece: The one with lyrics written in 3 minutes on the back of a Weetabix packet.
• Iceland: The one whose deep lyrics will be drowned out by puns about rocks and scissors.
• Latvia: The one where the early-90s rave never went out of fashion.
• Moldova: The one where they make the most of being a meme.
• Montenegro: The one with the most double entendres since Scooch's UK entry.
• Poland: The one written with a kid's rhyming dictionary.
• Portugal: The one that I can't ironise because it's so timeless and moving that it brings tears to my eyes.
• Slovenia: The one that sounds like what beige looks like.
• Sweden: The one that sounds like a sex addict's anthem and looks like an advert for men's businesswear.
• And the 3 Big 6 voting in this semi:
• Italy: The one with the most philosophical lyrics which will, nonetheless, be interpreted as a novelty song.
• Spain: The one that not even Spain wanted to subject Europe to.
• UK: The one that brings fast and effective relief for insomnia.