It’s that time of year again: a rant
These Chanukah lights we kindle
In honor of the miracles, the wonders
And salvation wrought and wars
You fought, for our fathers,
In days of yore and in present time
“Chrismukkah” is NOT A THING.
Hanukkah is not the “Jewish Christmas.” It is not a ritual equivalent, it is not even a SOCIAL equivalent.
The only reason Hanukkah has any kind of prominence in western culture is because it’s close to Christmas.
The only reason Jewish kids get actual presents on Hannukah is because of the proximity to Christmas – tradition is little gifts of money, or chocolate.
Our important holidays are the ones that y’all don’t notice, or misrepresent, because they don’t happen to coincide with giftstravaganza – Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Pesach, Succot, Shavuot.
“Chrismukkah” is NOT A THING. It is not inclusive, it is not ‘cute’, it is a horrific misunderstanding of the ENTIRE POINT of Hannukah, which is the commemoration of a guerrilla war fought to PREVENT FORCED CULTURAL AND RELIGIOUS ASSIMILATION.
Christmas is not a secular holiday, so don’t give me the “but Christmas is for EVERYONE (so I have all the Jewish characters in my fics celebrating Christmas with their friends, but I never, ever write anything about non-Jewish characters attending seders or Purim parties with their Jewish friends, because Jews are weird when I’m not secularizing them.)”
Fuck “I have a little Dreidle.” If you can’t think of any other Hannukah songs to use, do some research.
Matisyahu (yeah, we have our own modern music that is The Shit. We are not some ancient dead civilization that gave birth to Christianity and then fossilized):
We even have our own goofy holiday song acapella nerds.
So please and thank you, keep the differences in mind. Jews aren’t here to be tools to demonstrate commitment to “diversity” by having a hannukiah (not a menorah, for the record) in a corner in your Christmas specials.
(They’re supposed to be displayed in the window anyway.)
Yeah, I know I’m going to get a billion replies about how “but it’s all in respect” and “I’m a Jew and I have a Christmas tree and you’re just a grinch” – thing is, it’s easy to take what the hegemony gives us.
Until I get automatic days off for my holidays and Pesach specials with all the non-Jewish characters learning the Special Meaning of the Seder Plate, or “why Succot really sucks in the Northern Hemisphere”, or helping the Token Jewish Character with their Purimspiels (or even, omg, having a Jewish character in something who isn’t Ashkenazi!) it’s not respect. It’s the barest minimum to even qualify as condescension.
And it pisses me off every G-d-n year.
Hanerot halalu, anu madlikin
Al hanisim ve'al hanifla'ot
Ve'al hateshu'ot, ve'al hamilchamot
She'asita la'avoteinu
Bayamim haheim bazman hazeh
chequerootlurks
